I'm not really sure how to write this post. I wrote it, deleted it, rewrote it, deleted it, rewrote it, and so on. It might not be perfect or elequent, but I need to say a few words on the topic because it feels like I can't move forward until I do.

We've all been watching the news. I have been, and as the wife of a police officer, it all seems so surreal and impossible. The hatred people openly display towards police (and each other) feels deeply personal, it's not something I've ever experienced before. I find myself shocked at the conversations taking place everywhere I look. Hate is a heavy, heavy burden. I don't feel hate towards anybody, and yet I'm suddenly experiencing the crushing weight of it anyway. I stopped watching the news in early December. I assumed that things would calm down, people on all sides would come to their senses, and the media would move on to headline some other polarizing topic. Maybe I was naive, but I was so confident that things would be resolved in a constructive way, or at least that everything would kind of blow over. Of course, we all know that didn't happen. I never, ever expected to be where I am right now, with this insatiable sense of devestation.

I don't really want to go into the details of what it's like to be the wife of an NYPD officer right now. Take my word for it when I say it's a difficult time for officers and families everywhere. Extremely difficult.

So many of you have sent emails, called, texted, and reached out with kind, supportive, loving words. Thank you for that. Your kind words are like a hot cup of cocoa after coming in from a biting blizzard. You have no idea how much it means. A few of you have asked if there is anything you can do, and there is. If you know any officers or families of officers, reach out and let them know you're thinking of them; ask how they're doing, tell them you care, maybe invite them over for dinner (getting out of the house is so nice right now), and then don't dwell on the current state of affairs. Being around good company is a welcome distraction.

As we prepare for a new year, I hope the upcoming weeks are filled with healing. I will continue to stand proudly with my husband and our entire blue family.

On a different topic altogether, I'll be getting back to regular blogging in a few short days. I'll be sharing dozens of recent Sincerely, Jackie designs, scrumptious Font Friday features, new Stationery 101 topics, and some very candid Paper Cut posts for all my small biz friends.